28th of December, 2015 -Jumping Into a Pit


I opened my eyes, clueless as to where I was. The ground beneath me was rough, and the world around me was all but known. 

I sat there, watching a rose fly aimlessly into an abyss, only to get caught by the twisted tongues of a flame; one that doesn’t burn it into ashes, but preserves it in a display of agonizing beauty, showing me that pain could be beautiful, and feeding my tendencies to pursue torment and bask in its wonder.

So I walked forth, looking at all the pits that surrounded me: dark endless holes in the ground that promise fear and pain, yet look so inviting. So many possibilities, so many choices. One may be worse than the other, one could present you with beauty, one could promise you nothingness for all eternity… And in no way could I have known which one is the suitable choice.

Rains of beautiful dark red started hammering onto my head, yet I’d never felt drier, as a scene of colorful grotesque filled my eyes, and the pits grew darker and darker… however all the more inviting.

I stepped forth, though I had somewhat known the end to this. What awaited me down there would not be pleasing, nor would it be something I’m fond of. Yet despite being invisible to the eye, it quite clearly adorned the dark, inviting bottom.

I wasn’t going to die from the fall; a part of me sensed it. It was such a reassuring feeling of safety masking every second thought I had about the pain I’d be forced to endure once I reach the bottom. Hence, only one question remained, which pit should I choose?

Walking past them, the pits projected emotions. They all looked the same, yet made me feel differently. But in the end, only two stood out. One of them was of comfort, of joy and rest, of death to all that plagues my life. It was the only pit with a reassuring bottom. The other came with a promise, a promise to show me what it is that makes my surroundings so depressingly beautiful. Why the colors were as they were and why darkness pervaded the air.

It’s rather peculiar, human nature, as our one goal isn’t to achieve bliss, but rather excitement. We get a kick from that which is weird, or out of the norm. Curiosity drags us into realms that we dare not explore, filled with torture, both of the body and the soul. And to make up for that torture that we force ourselves to live through, we feel pleased by others’ own dark realms. As they step into their damnation, we feel comfort deep down. Human nature is the least humane thing about us, and it is what drove me to choose the second pit, for who wants a life of comfort when excitement and curiosity play a part?

Forth I walked, towards the second pit, taking a deep breath before looking down into the bottomless darkness that filled its depths. Without a second thought, I jumped. It felt like I was floating rather than falling, as the winds swept through my hair oh so gracefully. Whispers surrounded me, yet what they said was too unclear. Deeper I fell, and louder they got. Moments later, I landed on water, yet I lay on its surface as if it’s a ground of concrete. It felt not like solid, however, nor like liquid, but like air underneath me. Smoke that’s carrying my body so gently.

Moments later, to my surprise, the whispers grew louder. They grew into voices. Yet the voice that spoke was one that was so familiar to me. A voice I’d heard my whole life. It was my own voice, mumbling and crying out. As it slowly filled the pit with echoes of laughter and crying, I turned around, and in front of me was a mirror, cracked from the top right through the center. 

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